Lightning

There was something about lightning.

He didn’t know what it was, but it was something soothing. Maybe it was the fact that the sky itself was tearing apart in its own rage and sorrow, such a tempest maelstrom that whatever was wrong in himself was banished for the duration of the storm. His own problems—everything about him—seemed so small and pitiful in the face of the thundering bellows of the gods.

It was cathartic. It was peaceful. It was beauty in chaos, in the utter madness that was the all-encompassing storm.

If anything could survive such an event, it would be cleansed and washed way, and no longer would his problems seem so terrible. At least for a time.

Sitting beneath a tarp, listening to the screaming whisper of raindrops on canvas and leaves, moss and rock, leaning against the warmth of another person whose breaths came gentle and slow as the thunder ravaged the lightning-torn sky, as if each cloudy drumbeat eased a grip on his heart—well, that was ecstasy. Or at least as close as he would ever get.

Rain dripped down his nose from being caught in the downpour earlier, and soaked his hair to his head, made his clothes stick damply to his skin. The air was chilly, but not cold; not with someone next to him, someone else who could draw calm and strength from the power of the storm. Breathe deep the surge of lightning, the crisp perfume of ozone ripping the clouds asunder.

And simply wait.

Magic

They said there was no such thing as magic. They said it couldn’t be possible. They mocked and teased and flung so-called scientific facts in your face until you could no long bear it, then they laughed and pointed when the tears leaked free and you ran away to safety.

Physics, they said. Math. Universal constants. Gravity.

There was no such thing as magic!

After so long hiding in bathrooms, sobbing until your lungs hurt from their cruel jests and open stares, you knew it was time. They would see. You would make them.

No such thing as magic.

Ha!

Soon they would see. You would harness the power of the dark forces beyond their ken, and they would all see!

Of course, hindsight being 20/20, blowing up the competitors’ washrooms at the Olympics was probably not the best place to start. Handcuffs are tight, and nobody believes you when you claim it wasn’t a cherry bomb, it was the dark forces beyond their ken!

… no such thing as magic. Hrmph.

Sun

The sun has no business shining so brightly. Not now. Not today.

Chewing the inside of your lip until your mouth floods with the sharp tang of blood, you turn away from the window and tug the heavy curtains back into place, cutting off the pale morning light and shrouding the room in darkness once more. Each step across the floor feels practiced and carefully chosen, and yet you plod. Your bones are like lead, your skin stone. An effigy come to life, pulled free of its tomb to walk the earth among the mortals.

In the safety of the darkness, you walk across the room, arms outstretched to feel for sporadic furniture and pillars of priceless art. The wood is polished and smooth under your fingers; the marble cool and impersonal.

When your hand grazes the engraved doorknob, you hesitate, hearing muffled voices down, down through layers of wood and brick and stone. Your next breath is heavy, rattling, as if through a skeleton’s loose ribs. It will take courage to leave the dark. Courage you don’t think you have.

It would all be so easy if only you could blow out the sun.

Badger

“Leave me alone!”

“No! Come back here!”

“I don’t wanna! Go away!”

“But, honey, we’re looking at the gorillas.”

“I don’t wanna look at the gorillas. I wanna look at the badgers.”

“They don’t have any badgers at the zoo, honey. Come here, see what the gorillas are doing.”

“Can we see the badgers?”

“No, I—”

“I wanna see the badgers. Let’s go see the badgers. Gorillas are stupid. Badgers are cool. I wanna see the badgers!”

“Honey, I don’t think—hey, where are you going? Get back here!”

“Looking for the badgers!”

“But—”

“Excuse me, ma’am, but is your child looking for badgers? We don’t have any of the kind he probably wants, but we do have honey badgers. Would you like to go see those?”

“Only if we can feed him to it.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Honey, did you hear that? There are badgers. Now stop pestering me and let’s go.”

Apple

Full and red and perfect, not waxy or lumpy in the slightest. The inside would be crisp and white and juicy. It was her greatest creation yet, and she had to share it with the world. The single mother down the street—she might appreciate it. She always seemed to buy her seven kids McDonald’s and Kraft Dinner. She might not even have the money for proper fruits and vegetables. She would appreciate it more than anyone. She deserved it more than anyone.

A glance out the window showed a light smattering of rain. Donning her black hooded shawl, the old lady placed the perfect specimen in a cloth-covered basket and left the house. The young mother was home; her rusted minivan was parked on a driveway strewn with broken bicycles and chipped digging toys. Stepping around a jumble of plastic diamonds, the old lady ducked beneath a low porch roof and knocked on the door. The echoing shrieks of so many children echoed from within.

After a long wait, the door opened and the weary eyes of the young mother stared dully at her.

Smiling, the old lady pulled back the cloth. “A gift for you.”

The mother looked in and her face crumpled in a stormy glower. “An apple? A fucking apple? I don’t want your charity, ya old hag, and I seen Snow White!” She spat on the porch at the old lady’s feet and slammed the door.

With a sigh, the old lady set down the basket after removing the perfect apple.

She hoped those vile children got scurvy. It was just an apple.

Ear

Listen close.
Can you hear it?

Growls of thunder—a thousand soldiers’ feet marching across a slate battlefield, rent by mires of dust and bone.

Use your ears, not your eyes,
For these are not soldiers who can be seen.

Torrential rain, weeping from the battles, a reminder of the loved ones lost and still to leave, faces melted by the poisonous clouds of war.

Fingers of lightning wrenching the sky asunder, jagged, pulling, sudden. The cries of generals; the tattoo of the drums, sharp and bold among the footsteps of thunder, the wail of dearly departed joy.

It’s all among the rain.

A call to arms.
Swords drawn.
March to victory,
Across a sky split by war.
Weeping battlefields.

Can you hear the fearful drums a-beating?
It’s here.
Now—
In the rain.
All you have to do is listen.

Listen close.

Slime

image from http://www.notsocks.co.nz/
image from http://www.notsocks.co.nz/

 

He paused, long fingers drumming on the shaft of his bow. The silence of the forest greeted him—that silence that never was. Shrieks of birds, buzzes of bugs, the crunch of something moving in the windblown trees nearby.

Maybe he imagined it.

Then it came again, dispelling that thought, and he jumped over the fallen log, long legs carrying him through the forest.

A scream. Desperate. Filled with terror—and maybe something else that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Bursting through a thicket, an arrow already nocked on his bow, he dropped to one knee, ready to fire—and froze at the sight before him.

In a large, open glade, a mud puddle seemed to be… consuming a young man.

He paused, staring, then fired the arrow. The young man shrieked again, thrashing so huge, thick gobbets of slime flung out of the mud pond and splattered on the grass and bushes. The fletching of the arrow was just visible in the muck, slowly being sucked in with a wet slurp.

Abandoning his bow as a lost cause, he ran over to the edge of the pond of slime and stretched out one arm. “Grab my hand!”

The young man—so liberally covered in goop that he couldn’t even tell what colour his hair was—managed to extricated one arm and reached, fingers trembling.

The mud pulled him in further, grunting and glugging.

Their fingertips grazed each other, then he caught hold and yanked. With a tremendous grunt, he dug in his heels and pulled, gripping the young man’s wrist with both hands. The slime was powerfully strong and seemed reluctant to release its victim, but after several minutes of vein-popping struggle, it relinquished the boy and sent him flying out of the pond. He landed with a thud, and they collapsed together, panting and soaked.

Leto blinked and looked down at the muddy man sprawled atop him. “You aren’t wearing any pants,” he said, surprised.

In the few spots not drenched with mud, the man’s skin flushed deep, violent scarlet. “Crumpets,” he mumbled, burying his head in shame.

Ignoring it, Leto lifted his head and frowned at the pond, burbling in quiet menace. “What was that thing?” he asked, wiping sludge from his lip.

The man scrubbed his face with a mortified groan and rolled off Leto to slump in the long grass, revealing fine blonde hair and embarrassed green eyes. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”

Read more about Elfboy and his misadventures with slime over here!

Balloon

image from http://www.totalmerchandise.co.uk/
image from http://www.totalmerchandise.co.uk/

 

His abdomen was engorged, stretched like a balloon fit to burst. The hairy flesh was stretched taught over the swell, and he was covered in mottled patches of ashen white and flushed scarlet. Though his breaths came quick and short, his ribs creaking with effort, his pulse skipped and fluttered beneath clammy, butterfly skin.

It was only a matter of time now. Soon the screams and groans would stop, the frantic twitching of his eyes would cease, and those heaving ribs would stop straining under taut flesh.

And then… then it would be over.

Apocryphal

image from wikipedia.org
image from wikipedia.org

“Did you finish your book report?”

“Yep!”

“Already?”

“Yep!”

“That seems quick.”

“Nah. It was easy.”

“… it was The Canterbury Tales.”

“Yeah, totally. Easy.”

“Right. Can I see? I’ve got a few more pages to write for mine.”

“Sure!”

“… you wrote this?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“You used the word apocryphal. Do you even know what it means?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“What does it mean?”

“You know. Why’re you asking me?”

“Did you plagiarize this?”

“What?”

“It means your book report is apocryphal. You’re never going to pass.”

“Whatever. Give it back. I’ve gotta put more stars on the cover.”

Honey

image from liquorstorebear.com
image from liquorstorebear.com

Kat lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the brightness of the New York summer sun, then glanced down at her watch.

“How much time is left until the monotony of daily life continues?” John asked from the bench beside her, muffled from a mouthful of sandwich.

“Twenty minutes.” Kat glanced sidelong at him, smiling. “You have food on your chin,” she said, and laughed when John’s cheeks flushed crimson and he hastily swabbed at his face. “What’s Mom got cooking for you today?” she teased. She knew it was mean to mock the poor guy, but any man over thirty who blushed like that had it coming.

“Honey,” he muttered, eyes cast down at the wrapping on his lap. “She’s convinced I’m still ten.”

“Oh, Johnny Appleseed,” Kat said in her best Jersey accent, “I’ve got a honey sandwich for my honey baby.”

“And your mother is any better?”

“My mother makes me eat borscht until I’m sick,” Kat said, shrugging and toying with the end of her ponytail. Something shot across the sky above them, and she followed the flight of a large white bird.

John followed her gaze. “Oh. Look who’s come to say hello.”

Kat bit the inside of her lip to keep from grimacing as the white bird descended and she caught sight of the brown cape and green accents. “He means well,” she said, shrugging again.

Norman landed with absurd grace and jogged over, face flushed and beaming. She smiled as he approached, and wondered for the millionth time how his hair managed to stay perfectly in place when he was shooting around the city in the jetstreams. “Babe!” he called, grinning as he waved. “How much time do you have left on your lunch?”

Kat glanced at her watch again. “A little under twenty minutes. Why?” she asked as he stopped in front of them in all his ridiculous muscular glory.

He grinned and tapped the pouches at his belt. “Twenty minutes? Neat. I’m gonna rock your world.”

Kat felt her face heat up and heard John mutter obscenities under his breath beside her. “Norman, you remember John?”

Norman looked at John, eyes round and startled as if he hadn’t even noticed there was another person next to her. “Oh. Hi. I’m Landman.”

“I know who you are,” John said, glaring narrowly up at him. Kat wondered if the scowl was from the sunlight or Norman’s presence. “Your symbol looks like a pile of shit,” he mumbled, too quietly for Norman to hear.

“You’ll catch more flies with honey,” Kat reminded him, and was rewarded with a small smile. “Can you rock my world later, Norman? I have to go back to work soon.”

Unfazed, Norman beamed. “Sure thing, babe. Catch ya later.” With a sloppy salute, he backed away, bent his knees, and fumbled into the sky, leaving Kat and John on their bench in the park surrounded by the remains of a honey sandwich.