Internet deprivation

So my internet connection inexplicably died the other day. I was without internet except before starting my shifts at work, for three days, because my brother was the only one who knows how to fix it and he wasn’t available during that time.

One does not realize how much one is on the internet until one does not have the internet.

I had nothing to do. I stared at the wall for the first day before work. I read a book – Room, by Emma Donoghue, which is so good, by the way – I played the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind on xbox (WHICH IS A FUCKING HARD GAME, by the way; now that the Steam summer sale is on, I’m going to download it and mod the shit out of it, because the story is so good) because Steam and Origin need internet connections to play my PC games. I reread lots of Changeling, and edited it a bit.

And then when I finally got the internet back up and running, I checked all my social media, then got bored. dafuq’s up with that?

Then I played several hours of Skyrim, and I loved it.

Having to babysit my dog – who was mauled by the neighbour dog and is in need of constant attention, lest he scratch out his stitches – is giving me a lot of time alone at home. I’ve come to the realization that I could so easily live alone – plus a cat, my future Scottish fold named Sausage – and just become a hermit. I love being alone. My own company is enough.

Plus also, I’m getting my first pair of sunglasses in 10 years. I haven’t been able to wear them since I was 9, thanks to needing glasses. But I’m finally going to, because I’m going to get my first ever pair of grown-up prescription sunglasses! I’ll be able to see in the summer time – which is a big deal, because I live in a desert, basically. I was hellbent on getting wayfarers, and go big or go home – I’m getting Ray-Bans. So stoked. I’ll be able to see while outside! I also got a straw hat with a rainbow band today. This is a summer of drastic changes, as I don’t wear hats either.

Also, I was planning on growing my hair out and getting it styled in a pin-up wave and dyeing it silver, but it’s only at my shoulders and I HATE IT. I always forget how much I don’t like long hair. As soon as it hits a certain length, it just goes up in a perpetual ponytail. I mean, I adore braids and long, curly side ponies, but the effort of getting there… ugh. I’ve had a taste of uber short hair, and I love it.

Long hair goal. Image from two years ago, pre-dreadlocks.
Short hair temptation. Image from a year ago, a month or so after grad, post-dreadlocks.

Thoughts? I’m thinking of silver, white-blonde, either way, since I’ve never had light hair save for my fake red. Brown, black, blue, purple, multiple shades of red, orange – but never blonde. And if I don’t like it, it’d be easy as hell to fix.

Ugh. Seeing pictures, I’m definitely leaning toward short hair again. I don’t want a perma-pony all summer when I could have a boyish fauxhawk.

Thoughts on the interwebz

It seems to me, in this instant gratification society we have, especially here on the internet community, that if you aren’t talking about something relevant in pop culture, you aren’t going to get recognized. I’m mostly aiming this at artistic communities, like deviantART, but it’s true everywhere, it seems. Maybe I’m not looking in the right spots, but it seems to me that the internet condemns uniqueness. I don’t know. Maybe I’m delusional.

But on dA, a community which I’ve been part of and loved for over five years, this is certainly true. If you aren’t drawing or writing about celebrities, games, or popular novels, you aren’t going to get attention at all. I once wrote a novel series about vampires – actual mythological ones, not dumb fantasy ones – which gained some notoriety on the website because Twilight was just leaping off bookshelves and into the hearts of undersexed teenage girls. Almost all of my readers were Twitards. Though they liked my stories and characters, they only knew about it because of a vampire association.

More unique novels of mine that I posted, or even short stories, things I had crafted entirely my own that had no connection to popular culture, were virtually ignored. 

For example, the chapters of Changeling that I uploaded have been read by few. Only one person comments, so I have no idea if anyone else is reading and enjoying. On the other hand, I wrote a poem for a character high on skooma, and because it’s from a popular phenomenon – The Elder Scrolls – people eat it up. It’s my second-most viewed piece on dA, and it gets plenty of views a day and comments and favourites and whatnot.

I like it, don’t get me wrong. It’s cute and light-hearted. But as much as I like it and the Elder Scrolls, poetry isn’t my passion, it isn’t what I want to be known for. It isn’t what I want critique on. 

Is there anywhere online that actually encourages originality? God knows dA tries, but there’s only so much we can do to promote ourselves. I’ve basically given up on the place, for now at least.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep harassing you fine folks with teasers and short stories from my brain, because I need somewhere to dump it.

On a final note, it was my birthday on Tuesday. I’m finally 19, and I can legally drink all over my country. Woo hoo.